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ODD Behavior: Children Swearing
By Anthony Kane, Md
Let’s discuss how we should react, as parents, when we hear our children with ODD behavior (oppositional defiant disorder) swearing at us. Especially when they are being reprimanded for something they’ve previously done, and the swear words come as a form of retaliation. Let’s look at it from our child’s point of view… At this point, you’re child has been at your mercy for a while, and this isn’t a position that children like. You are exercising the powers that come with parenthood, and your child tries to gain some control over what is going on by verbally or physically attacking you. So when you hear your children swearing at you and spurting obscenities your way, this is exactly what your children are trying to achieve. They are using this as a channel to vent out their anger or frustration. Here, your children are trying to tell you that you don’t control what they say… they do. This gives your children a sense of being in control, while you’re still coming to terms with it. In dealing with odd behavior in such situations, identifying what your children are up to is very important. Getting sucked into an argument that can be avoided is not the best thing to do. In such situations, immediate responses are best avoided. Your aim, at this point, should be to maintain your composure, and try and gain some control over the existent situation. For example, if your sons end up taking a joyride in your car without your approval and you say that they’re grounded for a week, they might get angry and throw a bunch of swear words at you. Here, you would quite simply reaffirm that they is being grounded, and casually walk off. Getting involved in an argument of any length isn’t needed at this point, and you do not have to blow your lid because you heard your children swearing at you. At this point, it is best that you let it be. Both you and your children are probably fuming. Although, this shouldn’t be allowed to pass, and sometime later, when things calm down, you should let them know that the swear words that were used before aren’t welcome, and they come with a consequence. Then, you inform them of the consequence. In dealing with odd behavior, the curse words used by your children should not let your focus shift from the issue that you were originally addressing. Your children, at this point, want to exert any or all the power that they might have. This should not be ignored. Retaining your focus as well as control is what you should strive for, and do not deviate from the topic. Things will calm down later, and you will then address the issue of your children swearing at that time. Don’t let this slide. Do not let your children think that you’ve caved in. Stick to the issue at hand, and the cursing business should be addressed later. |
ODD Behavior
| ODD Behavior Help
| Parenting an ODD Child
| Oppositional Defiant Disorder Treatment
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I as well as my five siblings; have been blessed with the same respect from our children as given to our own parents. Our children nor blended children from new marraiges never point blank addressed us with profanity; however, we have heard them use it among their peers. There was an embarrassing ocassion, when the baby of our blended family of five used a word he have heard me, my spouse and both grandmothers use "s*it"; if you are interested in the story it is shared in this AdlandPro forum.
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This intel was contributed by akanemd
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May, 2012
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