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Parenting: Child Tantrums Got You Down?
By Anthony Kane, Md
Ok, here’s the situation, you are finally the 2nd in line at Walmart, you foresee being in your car and on the way home in less than 20 minutes. You are feeling pretty good, no tantrums or outbursts or any other catastrophies so far. But ... oh no, here it comes, you thought you were home free, but you thought to soon. Little John just decided to start one of those dreaded public child tantrums here… now, in front of everyone, in the checkout isle. Your only thought now is how little John’s tantrum is perceived by the others around you. When your child misbehaves overtly in a place where there are a number of people, you feel that all eyes are set on you and they are all evaluating your parenting skills and you must be flunking. If you have thoughts about people thinking that you aren’t a good parent, and about you being unable to handle your child, you should know that this isn’t a unique situation. However, one thing that should be brought to your attention is the fact that your assumptions about what people that are thinking about you are probably all wrong. While child tantrums can be a huge source of embarrassment in public places, parents continue to want to believe that they can be perfect, and that others too can see their perfect parenting skills. You should know that a parent cannot always be in control of their child’s behavior. Irrespective of how old a child is, he is still human. And wanting to vent out emotions when things don’t go in accordance to his plans is human nature. This is only one facet of bringing up children. I come across children throwing tantrums in public quite often. On these occasions I see parents undergoing a tough time, but instead of feeling sorry for them, I actually feel that some strange bond connects us. This aspect of parenting does continue to amaze me. I also see a number of parents feeling embarrassed in such situations, owing to the attention that they’re getting. If possible, I try giving them a reassuring nod. Fact is that most people who comment on bad parenting are yet to become parents themselves. You can easily expect all the parents present there to understand what is going on. When I come across these little creatures throwing child tantrums, the first thing I seem to observe is if the parent tries to find out the need of her child. Is he hungry? Thirsty? Is he too hot or too cold? Is he tired? Does he just need all of your undivided attention for a few minutes because he hasn’t seen you all day? Or does he need to be taken to the nearest corner of the store for a time out for not listening? I find that the parent usually tries to find out their child’s need. This is good parenting. Therefore, when your child does decide to throw his next public tantrum, just bear in mind that there are numerous parents there who have gone though similar experiences sometime in life, and there is really no need for you to feel embarrassed. By the way, if you happen to see me at your nearest superstore and one of my own is acting up… give me an understanding smile. |
Good Parenting
| Child Tantrums
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The playful tickle worked for me and to this day ~ just making the gesture makes my children smile and prompted to take flight (back up). The main intro to the "playful tickle" should be done at home. With their back to you; hold them with with you knees securely above the hips and cross your legs infront of them; to be sure they do not slip or fall, while you commence the "playful tickle" until they scream for you to stop. There after, all you need to do is "reinforce the memory" with the tickle gesture ~ in public and bribe them with something they like best ( kiddie rides or some other treat ). Make sure you keep your bribe promise. I like to generally promise a "surprise" ~ that can be anything from a hug and kiss to a new box of crayons 
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This intel was contributed by akanemd
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May, 2012
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