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Positive Parenting: Setting Limits
By Anthony Kane, Md of Complete Connection Parenting
What is effective parenting? It's setting limits and enforcing consequences. Setting limits is not about wanting to control your child's life or needing to be there at every step of the way. In fact, it's the opposite. Children need limits so that they can learn to fit into society on their own. Limits are all around us. Like private property, traffic laws and swimming pool regulations. These types of restrictions aren't meant to inhibit your freedom, they are there for your safety. Without rules, society becomes haphazard, unsafe and confusing. The same things can be said about personal limits for your child. How would he react if he could go to bed when he wanted, could eat all the cookies he desired or if he decided whether to wear his jacket in the rain. Sure, at first this would be fun. But quickly he would become irritable, lazy and maybe even sick. Boundaries are necessary for his growth and development to fit into society. The younger your child is, the more limits he needs to give him structure and reassurance about his world. As he gets older, the limits change. Your older child must understand there are extra limits, especially with respect to you and the people around him. He can't curse or yell at you to get his way. He can't fight with his friends to get his way. And he can't just take things from his siblings whenever he wants. I've talked a lot about limits. But the flipside to limits is making sure they are enforced. It's no good to tell your child not to swear in the house if there is no follow up to him swearing. The swearing will just continue. Consequences are needed to compliment the limits. Consequences must be set for any area where your child might go astray. He must know what will happen when he swears or hits his sister or skips school. It then becomes his choice to do those actions, knowing full well what will happen as a reaction. Obviously, consequences actually act as a deterrent, which is what the exercise is all about. But so many parents have told me they've tried consequences for their kids and it just doesn't work. And then I find that these parents just aren't applying limits and consequences the right way. So I created a video for parents to help them understand the correct way to go about this. In the video, you will find the biggest mistake that parents do that makes their consequences ineffective. It's all simple and I lay it out plainly. Check out the video at http://ccparenting.com/discipline?10086 You'll soon improve your effective parenting by setting limits and following through on your planned consequences. |
Parenting with Control
| Parenting
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This was a good article for a single dad, like myself. Gary J.Cooper
Great advise for we grandparents, as we see parents giving in to their children's begging. A great place to see this is in the grocery store, after Mom has said "we don't need that". More time than not, Mom gives in to the public place pressure. Wrong!
Good intel.
Frederick
The copyright for this content entitled "Positive Parenting: Setting Limits" has been specified by the contributor as:
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If you use this content according to the license specified, you must link to the following URL:
http://akanemd.qondio.com/
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This intel was contributed by akanemd
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May, 2012
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