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What to Do When You Hear Your ODD Child Cursing at You
By Anthony Kane, Md
Let’s focus today on what should be done when a child displaying oppositional defiance disorder (ODD) develops a habit of cursing under his breath. Take this scenario into consideration… You reprimand your child and give him a consequence following which your child mutters something and walks off. While what is said is barely audible, you realize that your child was cursing at you. An additional consequence should certainly be given in situations where your ODD child throws curses at you in retaliation for a consequence being handed over to him. However, addressing this issue of your child cursing should be put off for later. Your focus should remain on the task at hand, and you should stick to the topic being discussed initially. When things mellow out , address the issue of him cursing at you earlier. Tell your child that using foul language is not acceptable, and this has a consequence of its own. Mumbled or yelled out loud, the consequence doesn’t change. If your child uses a curse word, he should be accountable for it. If your kid comes back in defense saying no curse words were used at all, simply tell them the things you heard. If they continue to stick to their guns, tell them that they should speak louder in the future to avoid getting unnecessary consequences. Basically, they should speak loud enough to be clearly audible. If you do this, you are setting a precedent for any future occurrences of your child muttering curses at you. Then, your child cannot hold you at fault… not even your ODD child. The consequence depends on what ever you hear. Stick by this and hand out a consequence at every such occurrence. The use of curse words is undesirable and needs to be looked into. They should be avoided by your child, thereby also avoiding the corresponding consequence. However, accountability in your child’s using any curse word is very important. Also, as a parent, you need to know the difference between shouting or talking back, normal muttering, and using curse words. It is natural for your kid to retaliate from time to time, all the more so when they’ve received a consequence. This is not something that they enjoy, and chances are they’ll walk away muttering of displaying their negative feelings in some way or another. This you can let pass. It’s normal for children to behave this way. Problems arise when a child begins verbally abusing a parent. When you hear your child cursing at you under his breath or out loud, this falls into the category of verbal abuse. This aspect should be looked into immediately. You should let your child know that you expect respectable language to be used at home, and curse words aren’t respectful. Again, while a child that mutters is ok, a child that mutters curse words needs to be told that it isn’t right. Following this up with a consequence after things calm down is suggested. After things calm down, you need to address this problem keeping aside the original problem. |
oppositional defiance disorder
| Parenting an Oppositional Defiant Disorder Child
| ADHD and ADD
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This intel was contributed by akanemd
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May, 2012
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